Claustrophobia

(from d/251012/2206:) “the sense of being trapped inside the world, inside the body, soul. that there is no way out, no outside (cf. what i wrote on ‘dreamer’ about ‘outside’)" / “sense of needing to escape urgently. or, sense of being unable to think, sluggish, slow, can’t rememeber what’s wrong, being tricked.” / “kvælende, trykkende, beklemmende, undertrykkende”

vs.: a sense of light, ‘fluffy’ outsideness in certain situations, where everything becomes easier to see through; ‘aeration’; noticing how philosophy is written in a constricted way, step by step, staccato, abruptness, disconnectedness, discontinuity. logical reasoning, i.e. anti-paranoia, is claustrophobic, and mostly ineffective.

Word list¹

Shut in, locked up, confined, imprisoned; suffocation, drowning, smothering; constriction (of a narrow passageway, snake around its victim); engulfment,² oppressive (surveillance); thick fog,³ smoke; trapped (hunt, cf. forest, surveilled ≈ stalked; perhaps intentionally, cf. anti-paranoia), ensnared, entangled, bound; stuck (hence “glue”, evidence of substituted dream, cf. the real dream gluing reality together), loops/cycles (I have 20 thoughts, like cards in a deck, and these are all I can think, over and over); paralysis, helpless, hopeless; crushing; toxic, poisonous.

1. See: word list technique ↩
2. Used in The Divided Self; see also withdrawal. ↩
3. “Brain fog”. When thinking, the sense of inching forward step-by-step, and constantly having to start over to make sure I haven’t made a mistake. And this is also how philosophers write, e.g. it’s what reading Plato is like (especially where Socrates’ questioning features prominently), and Proclus, and indeed most philosophers that try to justify their thinking. ↩